This new journey that I find myself on is so difficult to wrap my mind and words around. All I am able to do is share in my here and now. If you know me you know that I just love me some Jesus, like all the time. I love to read, study and talk (an boy can she talk) about faith. If you want to capture me for a good length of time, just start chatting about your faith and relationship with Jesus and my clock stands still. I have been known to sit in coffee shops for way too long as time at that point stands still. One question that I have heard for many years is how do we actually hear God speaking to us?! It is so strange to think about - we don't see burning bushes or pillars of fire these days, so how does God speak to us? Well today is where I share one story with you, in my journey of God speaking to my heart. And know that God uses all of us - the serious ones and the goofballs, He needs us all. So if you are the goof (where are all my peeps) then be a goof for God, I am certain that God has an awesome sense of humor...He did make me after all!
Two of my favorite things are hospitality and faith; so the highlight of my weeks usually consist of people coming over and we share about our faith adventures together. I have hosted studies at my home for years; we have fellowship gatherings and deeper Spiritual Formation accountability groups. I just love these groups and this time with others. At the end of March this all came to an abrupt end as my world was tossed up in the air and I have been trying to find my feet again. I have had love ones around me on a consistent basis, I have seen God's provisions everyday. However, my initiation for diving deep into my relationship with God has had a bit of a pause. No gatherings and if I'm honest not much reading...I'm just not ready. I am still trying to figure this "New Normal" out. Being around groups of people is still a bit tricky, seeing families having fun is still tricky, being alone is still tricky. So I just do one day at a time and don't make too many scheduled plans. That was my idea moving forward.
About a month ago I was attending a friends retirement party - it was so fun to be included and visit with previous co-workers! There was one there in particular that we struck up a conversation about kiddos. You see when we worked together, she was just starting her family and we would often chat about family traditions and parenting tips and tricks. Another subject that I love to dive into!! It was fun to catch up and get another hug after a year apart. The next day I am shopping at our local Target and as we were passing the toy isle who do you suppose I ran into...yep, this special mama friend. Ok, God twice in two days and not for a whole year before that. This is when I begin to lean into conversations and am open to what God may be at work in. I was able to have silly conversations with her son and we chatted for just a brief moment when she asked me a question. Now let's remember that I am currently trying to find my "New Normal" and am not committing to things or hosting people at my home, I am just not ready. She proceeded to ask the question "So are you still having your morning Bible study at your house weekly, because I would love to come." well without thinking twice I blurted out "Yes, yes I am" we exchanged numbers and went on our way. As I was walking away I giggled a bit and said to God - "well ok, I guess I am ready".
There is more to the story - the next day I ran into a friend at church and in the end of the conversation I asked her if she worked in the morning, to which she replied no..."I would love to come to a Bible study". Ok God two people in two days...yep, I guess you will make a way when there seams to be no way. I am not ready, but apparently YOU are.
I just love to watch God at work so now it is Tuesday and I find myself out to lunch with a couple of friends. I just have to share my story with them, it is at that moment that one of them (literally) throws her arms up in the air and exclaims "Yay!! I have been praying that you would start this back up, I'm in!" from there more women have joined in and God is at work, ministering to these women, in my living room each week. My role was to just say "Yes!" even when I didn't think I was ready.
So this is one of my stories of God speaking into my life - through people. I keep my eyes and ears open to when God my be at work in someones life and I am typically ready to be available however asked. Because to me there is no grater seat in life that to be in the front row of God at work.
I ask you - are you willing, even when you don't feel ready?! At the end of the day it is not me at all, it is all God at work through my simple actions: Saying Yes, inviting people over, brewing coffee (and Kuerig is a huge help), asking questions, and being available. I don't have the answers, and that is what helps me as I am finding my "New Normal". I don't and won't have the answers, and in that I get to rest in the peace that God has the Next Chapter figured out - and I trust the author. So here is where I will rest and try everyday to enjoy the journey.
Love deep my friends, and open your heart to what God may be prompting you to say "Yes" to whether you are ready or not!
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