Have you ever received a gift that has a deeper meaning that you could ever imagine? It goes far beyond the original purpose of the giver, beyond the original reason for the gift and far beyond how you saw the gift in the first place? I have received such a gift a couple months back. A friend gifted me a vase that is cream with gold lines in a haphazard pattern. There was a note attached that said that God takes the broken pieces in our life and creates something beautiful. It was a lovely gift and special meaning.
Several weeks later I was reading the book "Working in the Presence of God" in the introduction there was an example of a Japanese art form called kintsugi. Ok God, I'm listening. You have my full attention, what are you telling me?! This is where I dive into learning about the art form and my ears are fully in tune to how God is using this to speak to me, my situation and my current state of emotion.
Author Shannon Vandewarker explains kintsugi as follows: once broken glasses, plates, and bowls are taken and repaired using a fine gold adhesive. These pieces, though, are not just repaired. They are seen as more beautiful for having been broken. In fact, The kintusgi method conveys a philosophy not of replacement, but of awe, reverence, and restoration. The gold-filled cracks of a once broken item are a testament to its history.
The view of my life was a beautiful vase that was consistently being filled with breathtaking flowers. Flowers being the love for Christ, my spouse and my amazing children. Each year the flowers changed color and form, but with each new arrangement (age and stage of life) God was designing the most beautiful arrangements. I would look in awe and applaud at the beauty and exclaim that THIS was my favorite arrangement (stage of life)!! I was constantly delighted in the journey and the new joys and challenges of the stage our family was in. It was a delight and the vase of my life was always in bloom.
From the earliest of age my dream in life was to be a mama, to have children and flood them with love and care in a way that I believe God called me to do. If you know me you know that of all the jobs that I have dabbled with in my years, my highest calling and favorite job was being a mama to three amazing people. Each stage of life they were in you would often hear me say "THIS is my favorite stage". I simply loved watching them grow, question, explore and thrive. We parented with intention, we loved with intention, we corrected with intention, we live with intention. And with a life of intention, if we are lucky we get to see some of the fruit of our labor. Well that is the chapter of parenting that I was just embarking in - the fruit of our labor. We were dreaming and preparing for the next chapter. Eager to see who they would choose to continue the journey of life with (spouse) - plan weddings - first homes - new jobs...and babies, let's not forget the grand babies. Brent and I with intention added onto our home six years ago with grand babies in mind. We were stoked. Even my neighbor and I would chat about when our grand babies would be running up and down the road just like our kids did. We were anticipating (and beginning to see) the financial advice, relationship advice, church home advice. And as you parents know the questions keep coming and we are here to support and cheer along the way. We love every moment of parenting these amazing kids, and I would say that THIS phase was my favorite!
However today my story holds a different view - today I write from the viewpoint of someone taking the vase of my life and shattering it into a thousand pieces. No place for water to hold, no side walls for flowers to be held up, no shape to contain the bouquets any longer. Now I sit in the midst of a thousand shattered pieces, looking at the sharp edges and the scattered fragments...trusting that I am not on a cement floor without help, rather I am in the Fathers hands and He is preparing to create something new from the broken pieces. Where will God use the GOLD adhesive, what will that look like, what will it feel like. I am going to be honest - I want to be a vase, I liked being a vase, I can't imagine my life as something else...but I am not the author, so I rest in the peace that the creator of all beauty has a plan for the pieces and He will create something I couldn't even imagine for myself. As I wait, I will love deep and choose to see the JOY around me. Perhaps the Love and JOY is the beginning of the GOLD adhesive?!
Comments