Have you ever had a destination on your bucket list, a place that you dream of one day going to? A place where you research the climate, critters, food and best places to stay or visit while you are there. A dream come true destination – me too; and let me be the first to say that Alaska was NOT it. Alaska was not even on my top 20 destinations, no desire to go to Alaska. So how did I find myself on a solo trip to Alaska in July this year?! I ask myself the same question and the only answer that I have is God,
He knew I needed to go.
In my “Car Jail” time of quiet mind spinning for the past several months a writing retreat popped up on my social media. My curious mind began to explore what this was, wait…this was the author that three years prior my friend Patti spoke about. A writing retreat to discover that Your Story Matters in the grand story of God. Ok, my curiosity was maxed as I explored more about the retreat. It sounded interesting but there were two glitches; 1-you had to apply and 2-it was in Alaska. I thought, what have I got to loose?! So right there on my phone, in my car with the sun beating down against the frigid snow packed parking lot I took a deep breath and clicked “apply”. The questions began to roll onto my screen; 1. what is your writing experience 2. what do you hope to gain from this retreat 3. what do you have to offer the group (small group of 20 writers). I giggled out loud…
1. “experience” – Christmas letters and a blog about the loss of my daughters
2. I was not really sure what to expect to gain
3. Group offerings: my love for Christ and His people, the JOY I bring with me and the deep desire to honor my girls through my stories.
I rolled my eyes as I hit submit and giggled again thinking, off to outer space. It will land somewhere with hundreds of other applications from much more qualified writers.
Back to the office, then as the sun was setting I checked my e-mail one last time before heading out for the night. In my personal inbox a note from Leslie Leyland Fields and she personally responded:
“Thank you for your application. Your story brought tears to my eyes. I can't imagine such loss. DO Come and join us. See where God is leading. This week is not only a time of writing and exploring writing but a time of amazing God moments. He SO meets each one of us there in our need and he always points us forward. I'm so glad you applied, Katie.”
I could not believe my eyes – I took a deep breath and began to process what was actually happening. I was just invited to join an author in her home with 20 other writers for seven days filled with learning, writing and the love of Christ. There are just two glitches; 1. fresh fish everyday was a highlight and 2. it was in Alaska! What, I have to think about this. This is not a vacation that I really would dream of going on. The next two days my mind was back and forth about this idea until I realized, this is NOT a vacation, this was God asking me to step out of my comfort zone and trust Him where He was leading. And right now, He was leading me to Kodiak Island Alaska to a writing and spiritual retreat.
Ok God I’ll go. It took me a few additional days to book my accommodations and exclaim “I’m going to Alaska, by my self!” with those words I was declaring my commitment and also pumping myself up for what I just signed up for!
Weeks leading up to my adventure I received a packing list that made me take a few deep breaths; rain SUIT not just a jacket, bug hat, eye mask for sleeping, fly swatter…what have I gotten myself into?!?! The doubt was daily weighing on me. I began to tell friends of my travels soon approaching they would exclaim with excitement “Alaska!! That is so amazing are you so excited?” To which I would respond with a smile on my face “I am looking forward to going on this retreat and discovering what God has for me, but I am pretty hesitant about going to Alaska.” You could see their eyes stop, the head would jolt in my direction like they had just heard the strangest words escaping my mouth. “you will love it, trust me” they reassured.
And so with all the encouragement of friends and family I ventured off (by my self – to a place where I knew no one!). I was taking a giant leap of faith and saying yes to whatever it was that God had for me that week ahead.
I make my first long stent of travel and landed in Anchorage Alaska. Excitement and selfies were in full swing – moose statues, smoked fish, mounted salmon displayed on the wall. My stomach sank just a bit and again I asked myself, what have I gotten myself into. I decided to wait to buy the “I love Alaska” stickers, because as of now I was pretty certain I would not be needed to make that purchase. I had plenty of time to wonder and explore in the airport and grab a bite to eat in preparation for my next flight into Kodiak Island. The fatigue of travel is beginning to set in so I am happy to see our flight is on time and very short. The flight number is announced over the speakers in the small airport and travelers begin to form the all familiar line to board the plane. Soon I arrive in my row number – I quietly pointed to the window seat, smiled at the gentlemen sitting on the isle and gingerly glided past him to my seat. I drop my backpack to the floor and push it under the seat in front of me, I am exhausted from the day of travel. This next 45 minutes will go super quick and I will be ready to call it a day. I put my earbuds in, tip my baseball cap down and bring my hoodie over my head. (if you are hip on body language, I am pretty sure I was speaking clearly – ha!) I lean back in my chair and soon the tires are rolling, and we are headed down the runway. With my eyes closed listening to music and tuning out the world…I feel – tap, tap, tap. Oh boy, I take my left earbud out and look at the man in the isle seat. “Are you from Alaska?” he asks. With a forced smile on my face I simply respond with “No, I am from Minnesota” and quickly replace the earbud in my ear and tip my head down again. The plane is gaining speed and we feel the nose tip to the sky and the pressure of take-off is well under way. We are now gliding through the air and I am enjoying music and dreaming of laying my head on my pillow to call it a day. One may or may not say I was in the crabby travel mode, just ready to be done. Then I feel – tap, tap, tap. Deep. Breath…ok, we are doing this. I remove both of my earbuds and lower my hoodie, as I slowly turn my head toward the man in the aisle seat, I see a huge grin formed on his face. He quickly extended his arm past me toward the window and with great enthusiasm began highlighting all of the beautiful sights in Alaska.
“Look right down there, you should see a volcano, just to your right” as his finger is inches from my nose as I peer out the window. “Can you see it?!” “oh, wow yes I reply” this was the first volcano I have ever seen in person – it was amazing. Our flight was short, so our altitude was a perfect distance to see all of Alaska from the airplane and right there next to me was my personal tour-guide that God placed right next to the girl who was not at all interested in being in Alaska.
“Ok, now look at that island there to our left – that is Kodiak Island – but do you see the smaller island just next to it?!” he asked with his arm still stretched ahead of me, only this time he was using the window by the seat in front of us. He would wiggle his finger as I was navigating the scenery to find just what he was explaining to me.
“oh, yes there it is, I see it now” I responded.
“That is my island, home to just 120 people and no commerce on the island – we go to Kodiak for all of our needs. Unless you plant a garden, that saves on trips off the island.” Wait WHAT – was he just explaining to me that he lives on a small island with NO commercial buildings, only residents and any time they need items they have to launch a boat and make their way through the ocean to get…toilet paper?!?! Yes, yes he was…I simply could not believe my ears.
“This is absolutely incredible; may I ask your name?” I replied
“Gary” he said with a giant grin. I think he loves his island and loves to show off God’s beauty all around the area.
“Gary, Katie. You have been such a blessing to me! You are my FIRST native friend and God gave me a front row seat to a stunning show with YOU as my tour guide!!” This was simply amazing. So what does Katie do next…yep, I snapped a selfie of me and my FIRST friend.
Our conversation and tour continued for the entire 45 minute flight; Volcanoes, Islands, Mountains, Sea Lion Areas, Coast Guard Base Kodiak, Main Port, Best Whale Watching Site, where to Fish and on and on. As the plain is making its descent, I told him I was attending the writing conference with Leslie “Do you know her” I asked. “oh, Leslie! Yes, I went to school with her husband – you will be blessed this week!” Gary replied.
We made our way off of the plane, on the small stairs that are just on the runway…oh, my word, cool! Make our way into the tiny airport and poof, Gary is gone, never to see him again. These are the moments that I can’t make up and I must jot down. The way that I see it as God has a plan for his daughter, He knows so much better than I do, He loves me and will provide for my every need. I need simply to say Yes – and this time the yes was going to Alaska. His provision was knowing that I needed someone to be jazzed about the state, proud of their home and show me all of the beauty. I needed to feel comforted as I was so far from home, and Gary was like a dad sitting next to me and calming my nerves. I needed connection as I was so far from anyone who knew me and so God planted Gary in the seat next to me to provide the very things I needed to confirm that God’s got this, and God’s got me.
And so now, yes I am an Alaska lover – it is where God met me, loved me, and grew me. I am forever grateful for saying “Yes” to Alaska.
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